I Marry My Husband Because I Texted Him First

It all started years ago, when we both were sophomore in college.
Sat in a circle, and in a crowd, I saw him smiling at me.

It was the first day of training, and we were put into the same group for the whole month. The communication line required me to forward the text message to him, every single time. Never once did he miss to respond and then continue to ask another question. Sometimes I flattered. Things were adding up when we found out that we actually lived close by to each other. What a coincidence!

Just like Hong Banjang to Yoon Hye-Jin, I felt like he was my knight in shining armour. He was always there for me, whenever I needed him most. He stood there at the gate of my boarding house to pick me up very early in the morning, and he would walk me home each night after the training was over. Whenever I got sick, he would bring some food and make sure that I ate it before he left. Just like other pretty things which have flaws, this relationship had its flaws. Turns out, he had a longtime girlfriend, and to his defense, he was just being friendly to me. So yeah, it sucked, and everything was falling apart back then.

Fast forward to 2014, I learned the sad news of the passing of his father. Then I reached out to him, one more time. To be honest, talking to him was very refreshing. It was always fun. We were getting so intense in no time. Until, I found out that he was still with his girlfriend, the very same girl from five years ago. It was always like that. Our relationship was always more than just a friend, yet always less as a couple.

Little did I know that three years later, he made a list of names–some kinda candidates that he considered calling because he was planning to get married. And my name, yes, my name was also on that list.

And at the same time, in the dead of a cold winter, I texted him once again. I don’t know why I have always drawn to him. Perhaps, it was because I felt lonely and the gloomy weather in the UK just made me desperately need someone to lean on. And because he was familiar. He was my home, away from home. It was very nice having him on the other side of the line when I pulled an all-nighter to write the dissertation at the library. It was nice having someone to talk about your day, and mostly about everything.

Guess I was the answer from God for his wish, that he finally decided to cross out all the other names on that stupid list.

People say that the third time’s a charm, and so it was true.
It finally worked out this time. Through its ups and downs, we managed to survive the vicious eight months of the long distance and different time zones.

When I came back home for good, we met in Bandung because I had a job interview and he was pursuing his master at our beloved Uni. I still could remember how awkward it was when he first picked me up after the interview. Could still feel the cold wind of Bandung touching my face during our ride where he took me out for lunch. Then we spent the whole evening taking down the memory lane at the campus. Then we sat there, in front of the West Hall, talking, blushing, and talking again. Finally, he dropped me off at Xtrans because I had to go back to Jakarta. Just a week after that meeting, he came to my house and met my father. The next fortnight, he took me to his house and introduced me to his mother.

Then everything was moving too fast. All the drama during the wedding preparation was inevitable. Maybe we were having that wedding jitters, but I remember that I cried more often and the thought of calling off the wedding haunted me.

We took the vow. Everything was so beautiful on the wedding day. The honeymoon was so sweet. However, marriage comes with its beautiful consequences. It was a hard time adjusting in the beginning. Then suddenly the baby happened. We had to go through another round of a long distance relationship, and this time was even harder with me being pregnant and away from the husband. Relationship with the in-laws was also very challenging. Those were the days when I felt like an outlier because I felt rejected. I just could not stop crying over every single thing that happened in our lives, the good and the bad.

Well, at the end of the day, I really thank God that he let our path cross once again. And I really thank him for not letting me go and trying his best for his new little family. We are at a better place now.

Sometimes it is okay to make a move. Because, if I had not texted him first years ago, maybe I would have told a different story right now.


For me, it has always been you.

Happy third anniversary. I love you. I really do.

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