One little big step.

The end of March, we decided to start the toilet training. Baby was 20 months old. And maybe some would say it was too soon. But we thought, it’s time.

Semua bermula ketika si baby mulai menunjukkan tanda pegang diapers setiap kali mau pipis, sambil bilang pis dan nunjuk ke arah toilet. Dan benar, beberapa kali diapersnya masih kering setelah mandi pagi, sampai menjelang zuhur. Setelah hampir sebulan setiap mau pipis dan pup dia sering bilang, akhirnya kami memutuskan mulai lepas diapers. Ga tanggung-tanggung, langsung day and night. Sepanjang toilet training, 3x ngompol di kasur waktu tidur malam, dan 2x kelepasan pup ga di wc. Sisanya, ngompol tipis-tipis kalau lagi main. Tapi alhamdulillah anaknya pinter banget lebih sering ngasih tau setiap mau ke wc…

Thank you for making our lives easier ya nak. It’s been great three weeks of learning. Mama so proud of you 🤗

Once an outlier, will always be an outlier. Doesnt matter how hard you’ve tried. No one cares. You will never be accepted. You’re not one of them. You’re nobody. Just let it be. Stop trying. Stop hurting yourself. Learn the art of not caring about anything, unless your own life. Cause nothing else matters.

Jadi emang sama covid ini ga boleh jumawa ya guys. Baru aja beberapa minggu lalu bisa bernapas lega, eh, round in circles here we go. Trauma aku tuh!

Husband’s family was just tested positive. My mother in law was hospitalized and the rests were having self-quarantine at home. But the issue was that, my husband also needed to isolate himself since he took care of his family during this time. Kalau awal Januari lalu kami isolasi sama-sama, Februari ini terpaksa terpisah. Waiting for 5 days to see if he developed any symptoms, then he took the test. Thank God it was negative.

It’s been a while since the last time we were able to leave the house, due to the never ending self-quarantine from January. So to keep us sane, we took the time to go out and about to a quiet place. Grateful to still be able to breathe in the fresh air.

So to sum up this month, we do still have to take this virus seriously.

Please stay safe.

Closing up the first month of the year with gratitude: no more positive test result at home.

And of course, followed by deep cleaning the house over and over again.

One more joy, finally the baby can talk nowww I am so happy.

Cheers for the better days to come, insya Allah.

New Year, New What?

Nine days into the new year, and things just dont seem to get right. Worse if I may say.

Our family is getting bigger and our house is a bit crowded now. During this pandemic, our family is very careful and strict to keep our social and physical distancing. Until…

One of the helpers (N) at home went to her hometown. A week ago she came back to this house (Jan 2nd) and of course we asked her to do the health protocols: wearing mask at all times for 14 days and washing hands regularly. She was the nanny of my baby niece and I am worriedsick for the baby.

2 days upon her arrival (Jan 4th), the other helper (A) told us that N was sick. So that very morning we asked N to get the PCR Test. The very sameday, the result came out and she was tested positive. Since she had the symptoms, my sister gave N an option to self-quarantine at the hospital, but she refused it and wanted to go back to her hometown instead. Since it was also because of her own doing that she caught the virus, so we let her go.

The bad news is, now we need to concern about the baby and A (because she shared the room with N). Fortunately, both of the baby and A do not have any symptoms. But still, for precautions, Jan 7th, I took A to the hospital for the PCR Test. This evening, the result just came out, and yes as predicted, A is also positive. A is the one who cooks for us and does the general cleaning at home. Although she is also wearing a mask most of the times after we knew that N was infected, I have to say that I am scared now.

Oh my god. The virus is here. In our roof. I just cant sleep, because tomorrow morning, every person in the house (including all the babies) will be tested for covid. I pray to God that nobody will get the positive result… Please…

But what if we do?

Satu tahun sudah
Dan terkadang mataku masih saja basah

Banyak hal yg telah berubah
Salah satunya, tahun ini cucumu bertambah
Dia bayi perempuan, yg pipinya merona merah

Sepanjang tahun ini, jg ada wabah
Dan kami semua terpaksa diam di rumah

Terima kasih banyak atas semua petuah
Dan cinta kasihmu yg menjadi memori indah

Semoga Allah ampuni semua salah
Dan membalaskan semua amal jariyah

Rinduku padamu kian bertambah

Al Fatihah…

Beautifully written by Dad for my birthday.


Tambah usia
tambah dewasa
tambah bijak

Ada perjalanan cinta
karier dan kerja
Kau sudah berumah tangga
sudah pula
dikaruniai putra
Aidan putra pertama

telah kau raih
sudah kau jelajahi
seperempat dunia
padahal dulu
kau anak manja
tak bisa jauh dari rumah

Hari ini
Milad mu
yang ketiga puluh satu
Pasti masih ada
yang belum wujud nyata
kau bulatkan tekad
pasti kelak
jadi realita

Aku selalu
medoakan mu
Hidup bahagia
Hidup punya makna
Hidup meraih pahala

Diusia mu kini
yang baru sepenggalah
masih banyak langkah
meraih mimpi
torehkan prestasi

Selamat milad
putri bungsu

Doa papamu

Mom’s Multiple Personality Disorder

Videocall sama Mama, begitu liat muka gue di layar, Mama langsung nangis.

M: Pulanglah nak, pulang, Mama sakit. Mama kangen *sambil nangis

I: Iya nanti pulang, kalau Nad udah selesai sekolahnya langsung pulang ya Ma. Sabar yaa… *ikutan mewek

I: Ma, Mama inget ga dulu suka beli kebab? Sekarang Inad udah bisa bikin sendiri, enak deh Ma!

M: Lo tuh disana sebenernya sekolah apa ngapain sih? Kok masak doang isinya?

I: Ma, kangen sama Aka ga Ma?

Cuma diem, terus geleng-geleng

M: Anak Mama cakep ya sekarang

I: Hah, siapa Ma?

M: Inad

I: Apaan orang Mama lagi merem gitu, emang liat?

M: Liatlah, pake mata batin Mama

I: Ma, ini kan hari Senin, nanti hari Rabu Inad mau nari. Doain lancar ya Ma?

M: Sekolah apa kesenian sih? Kok Inad ga pernah cerita kalau lagi belajar?

M: Jangan lupa kasih alamat, Mama mau kirim surat?

I: Hah? Buat apaan Mama kirim surat?

M: Iya, Mama mau cerita di surat. Kirim pakai merpati

Hmmm kalau udah bisa begini artinya si Mama udah mulai sembuh ya… Mau pulang pulang pulang, kangen emakkk 🙁

Posting this one, cause I really miss her so…

Rest well, Ma. I love you.

It took us almost 9 years, to finally find our way to each other. I feel so blessed and grateful of where we are right now and I know, a single post would not do it justice.

Well, happy five-month anniversary. Thank you for bearing with me. I know things will not get any easier, but we will always have each other to conquer it all.

Here is to the more weight we gain and more beautiful things to come (especially that little bundle of joy who is busy kicking his way out of this belly).

M: Aku boleh minta kamu janji sesuatu ga?

H: Apa?

M: Nanti, kalau kita punya anak, kamu janji ya, harus bisa didik anak kita yang bener. Biar nanti anaknya ga banyak mau, ga ngambek mulu tiap sebentar.

H: Kamu ga mau anak kita kaya gitu?

M: Enggalah…

H: Loh? Kok aneh sih?

M: Aneh gimana? Aku pengen anak kita jadi anak baik loh itu maksudnya…

H: Iyaaa, aku paham. Jadi berarti kamu ga mau anak kita jadi kaya kamu dong?

Lalu dia ngakak ga berhenti-berhenti karena seketika itu juga gue ngambek. Habis dia selesai ngetawain gue, terus dia bilang lagi…

H: Masukin dialog ini ke blog kamu dong… aku kangen deh udah lama ga baca tulisan kamu lagi.

So here it is. Thanks for reminding me to start writing again.