I Marry My Husband Because I Texted Him First

It all started years ago, when we both were sophomore in college.
Sat in a circle, and in a crowd, I saw him smiling at me.

It was the first day of training, and we were put into the same group for the whole month. The communication line required me to forward the text message to him, every single time. Never once did he miss to respond and then continue to ask another question. Sometimes I flattered. Things were adding up when we found out that we actually lived close by to each other. What a coincidence!

Just like Hong Banjang to Yoon Hye-Jin, I felt like he was my knight in shining armour. He was always there for me, whenever I needed him most. He stood there at the gate of my boarding house to pick me up very early in the morning, and he would walk me home each night after the training was over. Whenever I got sick, he would bring some food and make sure that I ate it before he left. Just like other pretty things which have flaws, this relationship had its flaws. Turns out, he had a longtime girlfriend, and to his defense, he was just being friendly to me. So yeah, it sucked, and everything was falling apart back then.

Fast forward to 2014, I learned the sad news of the passing of his father. Then I reached out to him, one more time. To be honest, talking to him was very refreshing. It was always fun. We were getting so intense in no time. Until, I found out that he was still with his girlfriend, the very same girl from five years ago. It was always like that. Our relationship was always more than just a friend, yet always less as a couple.

Little did I know that three years later, he made a list of names–some kinda candidates that he considered calling because he was planning to get married. And my name, yes, my name was also on that list.

And at the same time, in the dead of a cold winter, I texted him once again. I don’t know why I have always drawn to him. Perhaps, it was because I felt lonely and the gloomy weather in the UK just made me desperately need someone to lean on. And because he was familiar. He was my home, away from home. It was very nice having him on the other side of the line when I pulled an all-nighter to write the dissertation at the library. It was nice having someone to talk about your day, and mostly about everything.

Guess I was the answer from God for his wish, that he finally decided to cross out all the other names on that stupid list.

People say that the third time’s a charm, and so it was true.
It finally worked out this time. Through its ups and downs, we managed to survive the vicious eight months of the long distance and different time zones.

When I came back home for good, we met in Bandung because I had a job interview and he was pursuing his master at our beloved Uni. I still could remember how awkward it was when he first picked me up after the interview. Could still feel the cold wind of Bandung touching my face during our ride where he took me out for lunch. Then we spent the whole evening taking down the memory lane at the campus. Then we sat there, in front of the West Hall, talking, blushing, and talking again. Finally, he dropped me off at Xtrans because I had to go back to Jakarta. Just a week after that meeting, he came to my house and met my father. The next fortnight, he took me to his house and introduced me to his mother.

Then everything was moving too fast. All the drama during the wedding preparation was inevitable. Maybe we were having that wedding jitters, but I remember that I cried more often and the thought of calling off the wedding haunted me.

We took the vow. Everything was so beautiful on the wedding day. The honeymoon was so sweet. However, marriage comes with its beautiful consequences. It was a hard time adjusting in the beginning. Then suddenly the baby happened. We had to go through another round of a long distance relationship, and this time was even harder with me being pregnant and away from the husband. Relationship with the in-laws was also very challenging. Those were the days when I felt like an outlier because I felt rejected. I just could not stop crying over every single thing that happened in our lives, the good and the bad.

Well, at the end of the day, I really thank God that he let our path cross once again. And I really thank him for not letting me go and trying his best for his new little family. We are at a better place now.

Sometimes it is okay to make a move. Because, if I had not texted him first years ago, maybe I would have told a different story right now.

For me, it has always been you.

Happy third anniversary. I love you. I really do.

Another thing to be grateful for.

After 2 and a half year, finally He has granted all of my wishes. Hope this new beginning will bring more joy and keeping us thankful for everything He has given for this little family.

One little big step.

The end of March, we decided to start the toilet training. Baby was 20 months old. And maybe some would say it was too soon. But we thought, it’s time.

Semua bermula ketika si baby mulai menunjukkan tanda pegang diapers setiap kali mau pipis, sambil bilang pis dan nunjuk ke arah toilet. Dan benar, beberapa kali diapersnya masih kering setelah mandi pagi, sampai menjelang zuhur. Setelah hampir sebulan setiap mau pipis dan pup dia sering bilang, akhirnya kami memutuskan mulai lepas diapers. Ga tanggung-tanggung, langsung day and night. Sepanjang toilet training, 3x ngompol di kasur waktu tidur malam, dan 2x kelepasan pup ga di wc. Sisanya, ngompol tipis-tipis kalau lagi main. Tapi alhamdulillah anaknya pinter banget lebih sering ngasih tau setiap mau ke wc…

Thank you for making our lives easier ya nak. It’s been great three weeks of learning. Mama so proud of you ?

Once an outlier, will always be an outlier. Doesnt matter how hard you’ve tried. No one cares. You will never be accepted. You’re not one of them. You’re nobody. Just let it be. Stop trying. Stop hurting yourself. Learn the art of not caring about anything, unless your own life. Cause nothing else matters.

Jadi emang sama covid ini ga boleh jumawa ya guys. Baru aja beberapa minggu lalu bisa bernapas lega, eh, round in circles here we go. Trauma aku tuh!

Husband’s family was just tested positive. My mother in law was hospitalized and the rests were having self-quarantine at home. But the issue was that, my husband also needed to isolate himself since he took care of his family during this time. Kalau awal Januari lalu kami isolasi sama-sama, Februari ini terpaksa terpisah. Waiting for 5 days to see if he developed any symptoms, then he took the test. Thank God it was negative.

It’s been a while since the last time we were able to leave the house, due to the never ending self-quarantine from January. So to keep us sane, we took the time to go out and about to a quiet place. Grateful to still be able to breathe in the fresh air.

So to sum up this month, we do still have to take this virus seriously.

Please stay safe.

Closing up the first month of the year with gratitude: no more positive test result at home.

And of course, followed by deep cleaning the house over and over again.

One more joy, finally the baby can talk nowww I am so happy.

Cheers for the better days to come, insya Allah.

New Year, New What?

Nine days into the new year, and things just dont seem to get right. Worse if I may say.

Our family is getting bigger and our house is a bit crowded now. During this pandemic, our family is very careful and strict to keep our social and physical distancing. Until…

One of the helpers (N) at home went to her hometown. A week ago she came back to this house (Jan 2nd) and of course we asked her to do the health protocols: wearing mask at all times for 14 days and washing hands regularly. She was the nanny of my baby niece and I am worriedsick for the baby.

2 days upon her arrival (Jan 4th), the other helper (A) told us that N was sick. So that very morning we asked N to get the PCR Test. The very sameday, the result came out and she was tested positive. Since she had the symptoms, my sister gave N an option to self-quarantine at the hospital, but she refused it and wanted to go back to her hometown instead. Since it was also because of her own doing that she caught the virus, so we let her go.

The bad news is, now we need to concern about the baby and A (because she shared the room with N). Fortunately, both of the baby and A do not have any symptoms. But still, for precautions, Jan 7th, I took A to the hospital for the PCR Test. This evening, the result just came out, and yes as predicted, A is also positive. A is the one who cooks for us and does the general cleaning at home. Although she is also wearing a mask most of the times after we knew that N was infected, I have to say that I am scared now.

Oh my god. The virus is here. In our roof. I just cant sleep, because tomorrow morning, every person in the house (including all the babies) will be tested for covid. I pray to God that nobody will get the positive result… Please…

But what if we do?

Satu tahun sudah
Dan terkadang mataku masih saja basah

Banyak hal yg telah berubah
Salah satunya, tahun ini cucumu bertambah
Dia bayi perempuan, yg pipinya merona merah

Sepanjang tahun ini, jg ada wabah
Dan kami semua terpaksa diam di rumah

Terima kasih banyak atas semua petuah
Dan cinta kasihmu yg menjadi memori indah

Semoga Allah ampuni semua salah
Dan membalaskan semua amal jariyah

Rinduku padamu kian bertambah

Al Fatihah…

Beautifully written by Dad for my birthday.


Tambah usia
tambah dewasa
tambah bijak

Ada perjalanan cinta
karier dan kerja
Kau sudah berumah tangga
sudah pula
dikaruniai putra
Aidan putra pertama

telah kau raih
sudah kau jelajahi
seperempat dunia
padahal dulu
kau anak manja
tak bisa jauh dari rumah

Hari ini
Milad mu
yang ketiga puluh satu
Pasti masih ada
yang belum wujud nyata
kau bulatkan tekad
pasti kelak
jadi realita

Aku selalu
medoakan mu
Hidup bahagia
Hidup punya makna
Hidup meraih pahala

Diusia mu kini
yang baru sepenggalah
masih banyak langkah
meraih mimpi
torehkan prestasi

Selamat milad
putri bungsu

Doa papamu